Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
