wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
