Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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