Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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