I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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