Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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