I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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