so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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