My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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