I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish i was in the wii world.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
