would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
