Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
