I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
