I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
