bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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