At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
