your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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