i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
