I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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