thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
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$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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