I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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