You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
