I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
