Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
