woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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