Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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