im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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