This dress was meant to end up on your floor
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
