Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
