writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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