in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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