Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Are we still banned from the library?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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