so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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