I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
