He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
