in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
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Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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