I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
