I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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