she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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