Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
