just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
