ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
