You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
