Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
