Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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