can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize