I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
These tits shall not be calmed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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