How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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