True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it penis luge time yet?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
