no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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