I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you didnt know i had herpes?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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