HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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