So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
3 2 1 whiskey
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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