Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
