Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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