i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
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Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
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He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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