fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
