All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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