My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so much tequila, so little girl.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
