can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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