Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
